Once you already have clear some of the most controversial concepts of shyness, if you want to overcome recommend you follow the strategy that has been proven more effective, the progressive desensitization. For this you can use the following method.
1. Make a list of situations that cause anxiety
At the beginning of this article you’ve seen that not all situations affect us in the same way. Make your own list of situations that cause anxiety and order it from lowest to highest. Be as specific as possible. “Public speaking” is too general, against what kind of audience you get very nervous? In front of strangers? When did you evaluate? The more specific you are, the better you will know how to deal with later.
When you have a list of 5-10 situations, turn to the next point.
2. Divide them into stages and face them gradually
Progressive desensitization is to face your fears gradually, so you get used to such situations before you caused anxiety. At the end of the day, it comes to replacing a negative habit (shyness) for another positive.
If for example the first position of your list is “talking to a stranger when I go to work underground,”the process could be as follows:
- When you sit on the subway, just say “Hello” or “Good evening”. No matter if you return the greeting or not. Do it for a week until you feel comfortable.
- Say hello and make a trivial comment. When you no longer have problems greet continues with comment that does not require a response from your partner, such as “Good afternoon.Today there are many people on the subway! “Look at him when you say it so you know that you go to it, and do it at least twice a day for a few weeks until you feel that anxiety goes down.
- Make a comment, and continues with a question. Now add a question about your comment. “Good afternoon. Today there are many people on the subway! Do you know if a party or something take place? “Practice this for another two weeks regardless of the answer you are given.
- Make a comment, followed by a question and finally take an interest in your partner. Use the other person’s response to your question for your interest in their situation.If for example you do not know replies that if any party, ask if you live far away.
Once you are able to do this, consider overcome your shyness in this situation.
Do not fight your shyness conditions you hate. If for example you’ve never liked the nightlife, do not try to overcome shyness in bars because you will be adding a difficulty that has nothing to do with your problem. Stick to your list.
3. Overcome fear when you paralyze
Despite these strategies, the moment of truth always fear it may come back.
When you are left paralyzed, you are on the stage you are, remember past experiences that left you well can help you overcome it.
By the time you invade fears before meet someone, for example, remind yourself the last time you got nervous doing the same. Remember, you experienced the same fear, but you were brave, you dared to take the step, and the result was positive. Your body will respond accordingly.
In any case, it is clear which sometimes win and sometimes you learn, and you break an ingrained habit of not happen magically overnight. It takes time, effort and desire to achieve. And put a few noses.