Listens as a bridge where the message goes

How hard it is many times, to listen, something that is believed simple many times, but to do it really, is not something that everyone knows how to do. Many times, instead, and to do it in detail, clarity, full attention, … we only let ourselves be led by a slight interpretation, almost heard, of what we even suppose since the other will tell us. This is the most serious case I would say “false listening”, where we do not let ourselves be expressed, to the other, completely, and we already offer an almost automatic response, from our mental filter, our “autopilot”, …

And it is not easy, but we should learn and understand that the first act of courage, and true listening, begins with the respect of letting yourself express yourself, the other person. Without it, we can not grasp the subtlety of the message. Many times, neither, nor look with the eyes, in an important conversation, for example, where another person tries to express a feeling towards us. And with this, we also avoid words and gestures, coming from non-verbal language, and we do not use them, too, on many occasions, to use them effectively, on our part.

In order to learn to listen, we have to eliminate both the physical noise around us that can make listening difficult, such as our own mental “noise”, which also hinders true listening, in the form of Prejudices, preconceived mental schemes, ego self or lack of empathy that prevents seeing enough the other’s point of view, …

Listening is an act of openness, of letting in, of preparation, … from the silence. It also has to do with the attitude, it should be the first act of gestural gratitude, and not verbal, for the act itself, for expression of the other person, towards us. Good listening is an important part of effective communication, so important in the personal, family, work, …

To listen is not to react from our emotional “blindness”, it is also to put intelligence and clarity, to what we can feel, because listening we can validate in an effective way our own feelings and of others, … Listening is also looking with the soul, with the heart, … therefore it is not advisable to “contaminate” this important process. Full listening also leads us to be able to communicate assertively, from the respect towards the other, not to do so, “weakens” our position in part.

To listen is to take the message, all the text, all the strength and beauty of the message, is a mindful act as well. If we learn and we improve our listening ability, we will also enrich our relationships, our socio-emotional competencies.

Knowledge and understanding come through listening, receiving, assimilation, the assembly of all that we do when we truly listen. Listening is an inside and outside look, it is the bridge that we tend and construct, where the message goes.